Transformations
by Amun's Angel
Summary: Bella has finally realized what her upcoming transformation means, and is wondering how to leave her human life behind without regrets.
1. preface

The house was abandoned now, an eery sort of familiar rather than the comforting home she remembered

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. There, I said it. Sad but true.**

The house was abandoned now, an eerie sort of familiar rather than the comforting home she remembered. Bella walked through the halls, her footsteps echoing off of the cold marble floors. She thought back to when the cavernous room was once full of booming laughter and sweet love songs flowed from the now-in-ruins piano. The slight creak in the floor should have been inaudible to any human, but Bella had tuned her voice to hear the minute sounds that the Cullens unconsciously heard every day. Unfortunately, she did not have their incredible reflexes. She only had time to scream as unfamiliar cold red eyes glared down from a mirror image of her own face.

Bella woke up in a cold sweat next to a very concerned Edward. There was no shaking off her strange new sleeping patterns as stress anymore: the nightmares had elevated from feverish behavior to the scream she knew had been real. And screaming in her sleep was not indicative of stress alone. The sounds of a panicked Charlie fumbling up the stairs gave Edward only enough time for one despaired glance before he disappeared into the night, although away from Bella was clearly the last place he wanted to be right now. It was all too clear to her now what was bothering her: the countless nights tossing and turning, the sick feeling she got when thinking of her future, and the nightmares featuring a homicidal newborn that looked like but couldn't be herself... the days were counting down. In too few days, Bella was to be reborn. She wondered if her humanity could survive the transformation.

**I'm relatively new at writing on this site, so I can use all the help I can get. Please review!! Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, DAVID BOWIE, OR THE SONG "CHANGES" BY DAVID BOWIE. Because if I did, the combination of Alice and "Changes" would drive the world mad.**

Curse David Bowie. The frolicky tune of "Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!" was driving me insane. It had been stuck in my head ever since Alice had begun incessantly humming it in an unofficial countdown to my transformation. What bothered me more was that Edward seemed more and more sure of my transformation with each passing note, while I only sunk deeper into a state of despair.

My first truly unbearable moment of horror came when Renee mentioned "dropping by" to visit me and my soon-to-be husband Edward various times in the future because she "couldn't bear not to see her only daughter before winter break". She claimed to generously risk life and limb to visit me in the very un-Florida-esque atmosphere of Hanover, New Hampshire as soon as we moved up there. She didn't seem to understand how true that statement would be, as an unexpected visit could and inevitably would very well lead to her only daughter sucking every ounce of blood out of her.

The second truly unbearable moment of horror became when two seconds later she began sobbing hopelessly and babbling about how she was too young to become a grandmother. It was not only overwhelming, but reminded me of yet another thing I could not give Renee soon. She and Charlie would have been great grandparents, but children were something vampires didn't really have, with the exception of Carlisle's adopted family and others like it. Not that we would be seeing Renee and Charlie after I went to "college", but it was still depressing.

This new line of thought had completely absorbed me, so while trying to figure out whether I should spout stories of children that don't exist to Renee and Charlie (if I was to keep in touch, it might hurt too much to give updates on the life I no longer shared with them) and consequently deciding that it would hurt them both even more, I had completely disregarded my surroundings. When I looked up, I admit I panicked a little. Well, a lot.

"Where do you think we are going?!" My panicked voice didn't deter Edward's driving in the slightest. "You do know that committing suicide as a vampire is very difficult, but you are very close to accomplishing it! I'm not kidding."

"Well, it's a very good thing that I will not be accompanying you, so long as you are reasonable. This is your last chance, Bella. If I were doing this for me, we would not be here at all. But you need to do this, you'll regret it if you don't. You need to make things right, if not with him then with yourself. He's back, Bella. Go talk to Jake."

**fin chapter 1. chapter 2 coming soon to a theater near you.**


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